Monday, November 18, 2013

Holding Nothing Back

Music is a big thing for me despite the fact that I can't sing -- at all.  I wish I could but, well, it isn't pretty.  Be it a Christian song or a secular song, there are many whose lyrics have meant a lot to me at different points in my journey.  

I heard a song this morning on Pandora that I hadn't heard before.  A few of the lyrics really caught my attention because I could so identify with them at my very heart during parts of my journey.  So, I will leave you with the written lyrics & encourage you to go listen to the song:

Ryan Stevenson - Holding Nothing Back (my comments in blue)

Behind this curtain there is a heart that's hurting.
It's been taking a beating. It's starting to fall apart.
And I feel like such an easy target. Dodging bullets, I'm exhausted.
How can every moment be this hard?  Oh how many times I have asked this.  I think about the verse that says to take every thought captive and I get overwhelmed and exhausted just from that idea alone.  I have felt like I'm wearing a shiny curtain and behind it I am falling apart an no one notices.  One thing I have learned, you never know what is going on in someone's world by just what you see on the outside.  Think about that the next time you look at someone - you don't know the battlefield that they are currently on.  And, trust me, they are on a battlefield and there is a battle raging for their souls.  

I'm holding nothing back from you.
Doesn't really matter what I lose.  It sometimes takes us a while to get to this point where it doesn't really matter what I lose, doesn't it.
Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.

I've got a list that goes on and on.
It's overflowing with memories of everything that I've been doing wrong
And I'll be the first to say, I've chased after so many foolish things looking for a
way to kill the pain.  
What a list I have... Looking at the list, thinking of how I have disappointed God, my husband, my family, myself, etc can make a person hang their head in shame and never look to God for help.  Shame is a tool from the devil to keep us from finding genuine sorrow in our actions and then repenting and turning away. If we wallow in our shame, we never give God the opportunity to redeem us and what we have done. I can give you a long list of things I did to kill the pain and not one of them worked for very long.  It's about following Jesus.

Oh, I'm holding nothing back from you.
Doesn't really matter what I lose.
Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.

I try to do the right things.
Why am I struggling day to day with these same old things? Yes!  I ask myself this a lot.  Why am I struggling with the same old thing all the time?  Satan comes at me with the same stuff, you would think I would realize that and not bite on his bait.
Whatever's taking your place, I'm getting out of the way.
I'm getting out of the way.

Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between...
Jesus, I'll do what I gotta do.
I'm holding nothing back, back from you.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.  This is my heart.


Writer(s): Ryan Stevenson, Jamie Moore, Toby McKeehan

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