God has been very clear with me lately when I'm supposed to do something - Wednesday night student programming this week being one of those things. I currently serve as a coach for our 7th & 8th grade small group girl leaders (about 17 ladies) and need to be there on Wednesday nights to help make sure they have what they need. Wendesdays are hard days. I can see it for what it is most days, a spiritual battle. Truly. I mean, Satan doesn't want me there and it's on those days that the kids are extra "special," I'm running behind or I am just plain TIRED that I want to give in an not go.
And I hear God telling me very specifically that I needed to be there.
So, I pulled it all together and got out the door.
I'm glad that I did because I had the privilege this week of leading 3 young ladies to the Lord. THREE more family members. And God chose to use me for part of their story. It's very humbling to me that God would use me that way.
So, when you feel God wants you to be somewhere, GO! You never know how He wants to use you or what message he has for you.
Thank you Jesus!
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Long time...
I clearly am not good at the consistent blogging thing seeing as how it has been about 3 years since I posted anything here. Truthfully, I had forgotten about this blog and actually thought I had deleted it. I know I deleted some very specific posts that detailed my walk through porn addiction. I let a few people who were very judgmental of my sharing that part of my life influence my decision to be a voice on this subject.
The past 3 years have been a tough road spiritually for me as I never really learned how to fight and be effective. Satan was having a field day with me and I was letting him.
That isn't my story anymore.
While there is more details I can and will share about my current adventures, I have been going through Priscilla Shirer's study on the Armor of God. Can I just tell you that God has revolutionized my life?! As in turned it around, set my feet on a firm foundation and helped me to put on my armor to fight off the enemy. This is HUGE folks.
There are so many Christians walking around living a defeated Christian life simply because they are believing the lie that the devil tells them - that they can't win, that it will always be hard and that they might as well just give up - live defeated.
That's a LIE straight from the pit of hell. We don't have to live a defeated walk. The God we serve has already won. ALREADY WON. Did you catch that? He gives us his very armor to fight with. We just have to put it on and believe it.
The past 3 years have been a tough road spiritually for me as I never really learned how to fight and be effective. Satan was having a field day with me and I was letting him.
That isn't my story anymore.
While there is more details I can and will share about my current adventures, I have been going through Priscilla Shirer's study on the Armor of God. Can I just tell you that God has revolutionized my life?! As in turned it around, set my feet on a firm foundation and helped me to put on my armor to fight off the enemy. This is HUGE folks.
There are so many Christians walking around living a defeated Christian life simply because they are believing the lie that the devil tells them - that they can't win, that it will always be hard and that they might as well just give up - live defeated.
That's a LIE straight from the pit of hell. We don't have to live a defeated walk. The God we serve has already won. ALREADY WON. Did you catch that? He gives us his very armor to fight with. We just have to put it on and believe it.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Holding Nothing Back
Music is a big thing for me despite the fact that I can't sing -- at all. I wish I could but, well, it isn't pretty. Be it a Christian song or a secular song, there are many whose lyrics have meant a lot to me at different points in my journey.
I'm holding nothing back from you.
Doesn't really matter what I lose. It sometimes takes us a while to get to this point where it doesn't really matter what I lose, doesn't it.
Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.
I've got a list that goes on and on.
It's overflowing with memories of everything that I've been doing wrong
And I'll be the first to say, I've chased after so many foolish things looking for a
way to kill the pain. What a list I have... Looking at the list, thinking of how I have disappointed God, my husband, my family, myself, etc can make a person hang their head in shame and never look to God for help. Shame is a tool from the devil to keep us from finding genuine sorrow in our actions and then repenting and turning away. If we wallow in our shame, we never give God the opportunity to redeem us and what we have done. I can give you a long list of things I did to kill the pain and not one of them worked for very long. It's about following Jesus.
Oh, I'm holding nothing back from you.
Doesn't really matter what I lose.
Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.
I try to do the right things.
Why am I struggling day to day with these same old things? Yes! I ask myself this a lot. Why am I struggling with the same old thing all the time? Satan comes at me with the same stuff, you would think I would realize that and not bite on his bait.
Whatever's taking your place, I'm getting out of the way.
I'm getting out of the way.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between...
Jesus, I'll do what I gotta do.
I'm holding nothing back, back from you.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you. This is my heart.
Writer(s): Ryan Stevenson, Jamie Moore, Toby McKeehan
I heard a song this morning on Pandora that I hadn't heard before. A few of the lyrics really caught my attention because I could so identify with them at my very heart during parts of my journey. So, I will leave you with the written lyrics & encourage you to go listen to the song:
Ryan Stevenson - Holding Nothing Back (my comments in blue)
Behind this curtain there is a heart that's hurting.
It's been taking a beating. It's starting to fall apart.
And I feel like such an easy target. Dodging bullets, I'm exhausted.
How can every moment be this hard? Oh how many times I have asked this. I think about the verse that says to take every thought captive and I get overwhelmed and exhausted just from that idea alone. I have felt like I'm wearing a shiny curtain and behind it I am falling apart an no one notices. One thing I have learned, you never know what is going on in someone's world by just what you see on the outside. Think about that the next time you look at someone - you don't know the battlefield that they are currently on. And, trust me, they are on a battlefield and there is a battle raging for their souls.
It's been taking a beating. It's starting to fall apart.
And I feel like such an easy target. Dodging bullets, I'm exhausted.
How can every moment be this hard? Oh how many times I have asked this. I think about the verse that says to take every thought captive and I get overwhelmed and exhausted just from that idea alone. I have felt like I'm wearing a shiny curtain and behind it I am falling apart an no one notices. One thing I have learned, you never know what is going on in someone's world by just what you see on the outside. Think about that the next time you look at someone - you don't know the battlefield that they are currently on. And, trust me, they are on a battlefield and there is a battle raging for their souls.
I'm holding nothing back from you.
Doesn't really matter what I lose. It sometimes takes us a while to get to this point where it doesn't really matter what I lose, doesn't it.
Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.
I've got a list that goes on and on.
It's overflowing with memories of everything that I've been doing wrong
And I'll be the first to say, I've chased after so many foolish things looking for a
way to kill the pain. What a list I have... Looking at the list, thinking of how I have disappointed God, my husband, my family, myself, etc can make a person hang their head in shame and never look to God for help. Shame is a tool from the devil to keep us from finding genuine sorrow in our actions and then repenting and turning away. If we wallow in our shame, we never give God the opportunity to redeem us and what we have done. I can give you a long list of things I did to kill the pain and not one of them worked for very long. It's about following Jesus.
Oh, I'm holding nothing back from you.
Doesn't really matter what I lose.
Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.
I try to do the right things.
Why am I struggling day to day with these same old things? Yes! I ask myself this a lot. Why am I struggling with the same old thing all the time? Satan comes at me with the same stuff, you would think I would realize that and not bite on his bait.
Whatever's taking your place, I'm getting out of the way.
I'm getting out of the way.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between...
Jesus, I'll do what I gotta do.
I'm holding nothing back, back from you.
Jesus, I don't want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn't matter what I have to go through.
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you. This is my heart.
Writer(s): Ryan Stevenson, Jamie Moore, Toby McKeehan
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Are you a Practical Atheist?
Part of our Wednesday night youth series is under the title "Practical Atheists: Are you who you say you are?" Quite a challenging topic.
God isn't a fan of straddling the fence - dabbling your toes in the waters of "hot" Christianity. I liked what Pastor Matt said - "We want to see how much hell we can get into before going to heaven." Isn't that so true of many of us? We are saved & have accepted Christ into our hearts but we still flirt with sin because it's so enticing and deceptive in it's promises to us. We aren't all in with Christ - just partly in.
Let's put that in perspective.
We serve a God who didn't come at us half-hearted. He wasn't half in. He didn't just like us a little, he loved us so much he sacrificed his only life for us. There was no straddling the fence, there was no going part-way, Jesus was ALL IN.
How it must hurt the heart of God for us to offer him the little we think we have to give or are willing to give. He loved us enough to give it all and we say thank you by giving a little. We still hold on to the sin that he died for and enjoy it, find momentary satisfaction in the sin. He paid the price for that sin. He died for that sin. Doesn't make that sin seem so appealing now, does it?
Before going further, we must define what a "Practical Atheists" is. This is a person who believes there is a God but behaves like He doesn't exist. A person who goes to church on Sunday and puts on a good face and lives as far from God as s/he can the rest of the week. They "wear the Christian costume" with ease.
Revelations 3:14-22 is pretty clear on what we will call Lukewarm Christians:
“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”
God isn't a fan of straddling the fence - dabbling your toes in the waters of "hot" Christianity. I liked what Pastor Matt said - "We want to see how much hell we can get into before going to heaven." Isn't that so true of many of us? We are saved & have accepted Christ into our hearts but we still flirt with sin because it's so enticing and deceptive in it's promises to us. We aren't all in with Christ - just partly in.
Let's put that in perspective.
We serve a God who didn't come at us half-hearted. He wasn't half in. He didn't just like us a little, he loved us so much he sacrificed his only life for us. There was no straddling the fence, there was no going part-way, Jesus was ALL IN.
How it must hurt the heart of God for us to offer him the little we think we have to give or are willing to give. He loved us enough to give it all and we say thank you by giving a little. We still hold on to the sin that he died for and enjoy it, find momentary satisfaction in the sin. He paid the price for that sin. He died for that sin. Doesn't make that sin seem so appealing now, does it?
Three things to remind myself of daily
Again from the Gideon study with Pricilla Schirer. Three things I need to remind myself of constantly:
1. You are not the same person you used to be.
2. You have no business going where you used to go.
3. You don't need everything you thought you would need.
Lord, help me remember that I'm not the same person I used to be and help me to choose to not go where I used to go. Thank you that you have given me everything I need, not necessarily what I think I need.
1. You are not the same person you used to be.
2. You have no business going where you used to go.
3. You don't need everything you thought you would need.
Lord, help me remember that I'm not the same person I used to be and help me to choose to not go where I used to go. Thank you that you have given me everything I need, not necessarily what I think I need.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Confident of my weakness
I don't know how many people would even check this blog as I have been very purposeful in not posting here for a while. Sometimes it isn't always the best thing to have all your business out there for people to misuse and misrepresent so I took much of what I had off. That said, I need an outlet to write my thoughts and this is as good of one as any - even if no one reads it.
I started a bible study today with some ladies at church - "Gideon" by Priscilla Shirer. They had already done 2 weeks before today and I rushed to catch up. I don't know if I could have adequately explained where I am in my walk with Christ or what I needed from Him today but I promise you I received a miracle when I went. All the issues that I was struggling with were addressed and I was floored. I don't know why I'm surprised, God always knows what is going on and what we need and I'm so thankful that he helped provide for my needs today.
Some of the key points from the video today:
God doesn't call us to do hard stuff, he calls us to do impossible stuff. Stuff that we could only do with His help.
The weaknesses in my life was given to me as the key to the strength of God in my life.
Be confident in weaknesses as it gives God an opportunity to shine in our lives.
I don't want to be confident in my weaknesses - I'll be honest. I have some crazy weaknesses, in areas that are deeply private but I chose to talk about in a public forum online and in the church. If the only way to be confident of God's strength in my life is to also be confident in my weaknesses, I guess I'll have to go with it.
I started a bible study today with some ladies at church - "Gideon" by Priscilla Shirer. They had already done 2 weeks before today and I rushed to catch up. I don't know if I could have adequately explained where I am in my walk with Christ or what I needed from Him today but I promise you I received a miracle when I went. All the issues that I was struggling with were addressed and I was floored. I don't know why I'm surprised, God always knows what is going on and what we need and I'm so thankful that he helped provide for my needs today.
Some of the key points from the video today:
God doesn't call us to do hard stuff, he calls us to do impossible stuff. Stuff that we could only do with His help.
The weaknesses in my life was given to me as the key to the strength of God in my life.
Be confident in weaknesses as it gives God an opportunity to shine in our lives.
I don't want to be confident in my weaknesses - I'll be honest. I have some crazy weaknesses, in areas that are deeply private but I chose to talk about in a public forum online and in the church. If the only way to be confident of God's strength in my life is to also be confident in my weaknesses, I guess I'll have to go with it.
Monday, September 24, 2012
JUSTICE
Noun:Synonyms:
- Just behavior or treatment.
- The quality of being fair and reasonable.
fairness - equity - right - righteousness - justness
One of the things I value most is justice. It drives me absolutely crazy when things aren't right or fair or just and it is something that gets me right down to my gut. Don't get me wrong, I know that we live in a fallen world and things aren't always going to be as they should be but it is easier to handle when it's not happening to you.
How do you balance the need for justice with the reality that things aren't always that way? How do you balance the need for justice when you aren't treated just? How do you move past the frustration with things not being as they should be?
I truly want to know what you think about this because it is something I wonder about. And you can pray for me as well because I am struggling with this big time right now in relation to a personal situation.
How can I find peace in the midst of a situation where things just aren't going to be just?
